In life, whenever you feel like you’ve just reached one mile stone, like getting engaged, people are always more concerned with your next step. When is the wedding? When are you having children? When are you having another child? When are you are going to retire? Of course these are questions that come from loving hearts with good intentions, from people you love and sometimes even from strangers. It’s a natural habit to ask about the next step, rather than the one your on. In fact, I too, am guilty of asking these same questions.
In the few months that I have started wedding planning there are a few lessons I’ve learnt. A few mistakes made (because no is perfect), and wonderful triumphant moments of things that worked (because under the high pressure of planning a wedding, you don’t just acknowledge good moments, you celebrate them!)
Soon after being engaged and being bombarded with questions of “When is the wedding?”, at the beginning of the year I hit the ground running with wedding planning. I attended every wedding expo, grabbed every flyer, spoke to every vendor and watched every fashion show. It’s exciting! Thrilling actually! And there is so much in the wedding world, that when you think you’ve seen it all, there more! In fact, there’s too much and it can become a little overwhelming after a little while. Which is why, looking back, it’s better to pace yourself. Work out your time line and give everything it’s time and attention. In between the to-do lists and appointments, enjoy being engaged. It’s a completely new phase in your relationship that deserves special time too.
Choose your people
Before you even begin choosing your table cloth colours or whether you want an indoor or outdoor ceremony: choose who you will surround yourself with when it comes to planning your wedding. I’ve realised, I’m quite an impressionable person. Although I (mostly) know exactly what I want, I always seem to look to others to affirm my ideas. That is why choosing the right people is important. These are people that not only know you well enough to know that’s your favourite colour, but these people have a similar way of thinking and you can trust their opinion when it comes to making very difficult decisions. Also decide on how many people you want to be part of the process, because too many cooks can indeed spoil the broth. For me, with so much wedding stuff everywhere, keeping it to a few people helps keep my sanity.
See what you want or know what you want
I think it’s important to decide what type of person you are when it comes to planning your wedding. Do you know exactly what you want already or do you need to see what’s available in order to know what you want? I’m the latter. Although I’ve had dreams of my wedding since a little girl, not only has weddings changed over the years but so has my ideas. I like to see what’s out there and then make a decision. However, this can be problematic because, as I mentioned, the wedding world has so much to offer and it can also be confusing. Especially to a very indecisive person like myself. This is when I’m thankful for knowing my people, who are able to steer me away from things that I’m infatuated with and know the things that I love. If you know exactly what you want, stick to it, and move quickly past all the other ideas before you get lost among fairy lights, silk fabrics and rose petal confetti.
Bae sometimes doesn’t care
This seems harsh, but true. I’ve had to learn that sometimes, most times, my fiancé doesn’t care whether we should have table cloths or no table cloths. To him, it doesn’t matter. All he cares about is actually getting married, eating the expensive food we’ve paid for, and making sure everyone leaves before we have to start paying the venue for after hours. But (jokes a side) most of all, he cares about my happiness. So I’ve had to learn that he may not have the same excitement I have when looking at flowers or deciding on invite designs, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care at all. Those details aren’t as important to him, as they may be to me. However, I still ask his opinion through everything because I like to include him (whether he wants to or not) in every part of the decision making because it is our wedding. I want it to reflect both of us, and I know that he trusts me to plan our perfect wedding. (Even if it is more my perfect wedding – he’s already on the right track: Happy wife, happy life!)
What advise would you give to anyone at the beginning of their wedding planning journey?